Hey Napoleon, France called, they want you to come home

Seriously people. Napoleon is probably not even the correct term for the date that I recently encountered. He was more like Henry VIII. Totally ridiculous. We met for drinks following brief chatting over the phone and internet.

I was blown away that his 5'9" shrunk by 4 inches. He proceeded to answer every question I posed with another question or an answer that made absolutely no sense. My favorite....

Me: "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
Napoleon VIII: "Is that a low-flying plane?"
Me: "Probably"
Napoleon VIII: "Do you always wear flip-flops"
Me: "I think I need another beer"
Napoleon VIII: "Will you buy me one too?" (doesn't reach for wallet)
Me: "Whatever"

I then purchased him a beer, purchased myself another one and went to the bathroom. When I got back, he had finished his beer and bought himself another one. I only went number one and didn't even bother to check myself in the mirror, as I saw this date was going so far short of nowhere.

Within an hour, I just decided to fuck with the guy and ask him ridiculously though-provoking questions that I knew he would have no answer for.

After I had my fill of that, I told him it was time for me to get going. He then asked if I wanted to make out. I politely declined, got in my car and left.

Within the next hour, Napoleon VIII had left me two voicemails and 4 text messages asking me if I wanted to make out.....

I didn't respond.

Sometimes, in the dating world, you will come across and Napoleon VIII. send him back to France with a note that says, "Hey France, come get this fucker, he is too crazy to stay in the U.S. We don't want him"